


Stronger For The Journey

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Darkpilot Fix-Its [13]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Fix-It, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:54:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27386755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben comes back to Poe.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Darkpilot Fix-Its [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883926
Kudos: 4
Collections: Allbingo, The Darkpilot Library





	Stronger For The Journey

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Resurrection
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Title from a KOTOR II quote, because I am a nerd of massive proportions.

It’s not long after Rey goes off into the deserts of Tatooine, a self-imposed exile, that Poe decides he needs to take his leave as well. He’s tired — just so, damnably tired of everything. He knows that he’s not a Chancellor, he’s not a leader. And he can’t fit into the role that Leia wanted him to be — the man who would lead the Republic into a new age. He’s not perfect. He’s not leader material. Poe knows it.  
  
He hasn’t done a good job of leading, actually.  
  
Even as he lands on Yavin IV, he takes in the scenery — old memories. Too old. He’s reminded of when he and Ben would run through the jungles of Yavin IV, climbing the Force tree. To think that this was so long ago. To think that they experienced so much, together, only to be wrenched away.  
  
(Briefly brought together intermittently before the Exegol mission, but wrenched away again. Darkness and sky)  
  
He’s ready to at least settle down, be left to his grief.  
  
***  
  
It’s a few days in that Poe hears a knock on the door. He goes to answer it — and that’s when he sees Ben. And these emotions...these old, painful emotions come back, all but slamming into him like a crashing ship. He takes Ben in, his now-smooth face, the lack of abrasions...and Ben’s staring at him like he can’t believe what he’s seeing.  
  
Like Poe means the galaxy to him.  
  
Poe knows the feeling.  
  
“You...” Poe reaches out towards Ben’s hand, brushes against it. It’s real. Warm and flesh and real.  
  
“I’m here,” Ben says. “It’s been a long way, but...I think I’ve been stronger for the journey.”  
  
***  
  
“How could you have done this to me?”  
  
Poe doesn’t know what he’s referring to, now that he thinks about it. It could be the kiss Rey told him about (though her mourning for him mostly seems to have been modified to the more familial route. Losing her family all over again), the torture, leaving him, anything.  
  
“I don’t think that ‘Sorry’ can make up for it. The torture. I...” A deep, shaky breath from Ben. “I didn’t want to. I held off as long as I could...”  
  
Poe nods. He can buy that.  
  
"And Snoke...I don’t know if it was Snoke or Palpatine, but he got inside my head.” A crack in Ben’s voice. "He...when I didn’t go fast enough, he hurt me...”  
  
Poe sits back, trying to fight off the feeling like that crashed ship barreled right into him.  
  
"I wasn’t strong enough. I’m sorry, Poe.” A beat. “I didn’t tell you about it because I was ashamed.”  
  
“Hey.” Poe’s fingers, lightly, brush over Ben’s. “Don’t say that. You defied Snoke and Palpatine. You won, Ben.” Then, “How did you come back?”  
  
"My family. I remember waking up in the netherworld of the Force...”  
  
“What did it look like?” Poe says.  
  
“Like...the Jedi Academy. Before it burned.” A strained laugh from Ben. “I guess it’s ironic that I ended up back there. But I — my grandfather, my uncle, my mother...they brought me back. Force Ghosts can still use the Force. And they brought me back. I woke up on Exegol and I knew I had to find you. Even if you hated me...”  
  
“I don’t hate you.”  
  
A faint smile from Ben. “Do you hate anyone?”  
  
“No. Least of all you.”  
  
***  
  
Ben spends time in Poe’s house. There’s something almost domestic about their experience there — something, Poe thinks, that makes him wonder if they could have had that life from the start.  
  
"Where’s BB-8?” Ben says.  
  
“On Tatooine. With Rey.” A beat. “She took your mother and uncle’s lightsabers there as a tribute...”  
  
“What?”  
  
Then Ben actually starts laughing.  
  
“Ben — are you — ”  
  
“That’s...well-intentioned of her,” Ben says, “But burying those lightsabers there is a terrible choice.”  
  
“...yeah, I tried to tell her that.”  
  
Ben snorts. “It’s well-intentioned of her, though.” A beat. “I heard about Snap. I’m sorry.”  
  
“Not your fault.” And it isn’t.  
  
***  
  
Ben listens to him. Poe has a feeling like he’s trying to heal every wound ever inflicted on Poe, by Ben or otherwise. When Poe wakes from a nightmare about Paige’s death, or Holdo’s, or Snap’s, or a nightmare about the Finalizer, Ben stays with him. Murmurs the counterpoint to the negative messages Poe has about himself. “I did worse, and for far less justified reasons, Poe,” he says. “Believe me.”  
  
“I know. It just feels like everyone I care about dies.”  
  
“Because there’s very few in the galaxy you care about,” Ben says. “I wouldn’t love you so much if that wasn’t the case."  
  
“You...love me.”  
  
"I do. With Rey...she was a friend, and I’m grateful for her kindness. And you...you’ve always meant something to me. Everything. And...I wish you could see how much I love you and believe in you. Really.” A beat. “I know I’m not worthy of you — ”  
  
Poe cuts him off with a hug. Not a kiss, just a hug. But it says volumes.  
  
“I love you too,” he says, “You utter fool.”  
  
***  
  
They kiss, and touch, and Poe’s amazed by how alive his body feels, his spirit too. Alive and whole. Ben’s lips driving him to madness as they kiss and lick and suck and bite, and Ben actually does exclaim in delight at how he finds Poe’s body. “Perfect,” he says. “Absolutely.”  
  
“Ben..." He can feel it, the trembling in his body like the buildup to an earthquake. “Ben...”  
  
"Let go,” Ben says, and Poe comes. It’s fast and messy and too much, but Poe nonetheless loves it.  
  
Ben follows, emptying himself into Poe before withdrawing, kissing down Poe’s neck non-erotically.  
  
“I’m here,” he says. “I’m home.” Then, “Let’s carve out a place here. Together.”  
  
“Yeah.” Poe’s exhausted, and foolishly content. “Let’s.”


End file.
